This last week was great. I had a lot of introspection, mostly on things I worry about and what I want to do with myself. I spend a lot of time dreaming about how great things things will be if I ever become successful with this art thing, but I rarely take the time to enjoy the now. I realised that as long as I'm working hard, worrying about how everything is going to work out is just an extra burden that isn't worth carrying. I've noticed that by sending out more positivity into your surroundings, your surroundings in turn make you more positive. The opposite is also true, causing the famous downward spiral. An example of this is that I'm trying to write a list at the beginning of the week of all the awesome stuff I'd like to do alongside all the boring adult stuff that I need to do. I've been having a hard time mixing the two and finally feel like I'm getting the hang of it.
I finally got my PC shipped to the new apartment in Berlin, and decided to clean up the colossal mess that was my art folder. In my mind, I'd put where I was in my routine before I moved in August on some kind of pedestal that I need to work to reach again, but moving over my new work to the PC made me see how much work I've been doing these last 3 months alone. I was surprised at how much I've grown, especially since at the beginning of this year I could barely put together an illustration after the Atelier. Sure I'd learned a lot at the Atelier, but I hadn't been using the muscles in my brain for image-making the whole time I was studying. I could make a face pretty, but was absolutely crippled when it came to making a remotely interesting picture. I should take more time to look at my progress, since seeing the results of hard work is really the best motivation to keep going.
In my bout of positivity I'm trying to post my work around more without feeling the usual weird shame. Been trying to put some stuff on Reddit, and while its been a fairly quiet response I've been happy with the reception I've been getting. I fully understand that my work isn't the most exciting thing to the masses who want tits and explosions, but those aren't the people I'm trying to get to see my work. I'm looking for people who love slightly more esoteric work where you have to dig harder for meaning or to find stories between pieces. I'd love to create a collection of art that is more like a long, vague book than a flashy movie. I'm currently shaping up my plans for 2016 and I'm going to finally take some risks to try and make my ideas into something tangible. I think constantly about things that I'd love to create, but usually submit to the fear of it not being popular enough to make money. Time to get over that. I should have quite a bit of time for myself over December to formulate some big plans. Getting very tired of saying 'next year is the year.'
Oh and one of the best parts of this week was finding out I have a huge park near where I live. Love the Autumn weather and atmosphere, has a huge influence on my artwork. If you're an artist who finds themselves glued to the computer all the time, go outside and see some nature!
I challenge everyone who reads this to do something they really enjoy this week, even if its difficult to find the time.